The Agnostic Christian
Will I believe it when I see it?
or will i see it when I choose to believe it?
Does one have a choice in these games,
or are we all subjected to the dictations of the cosmos?
"God does not care for you" you claim
However, my neighbor, my heart
puts up the claim of a different narrative
(am I to privilege that which I do not see{believe}?)
the pumping of blood bids me closer to the source;
the ravings of insanity lurk behind these eyes
Who is it that lies behind these eyes?
where does the surge of plasma come from
that compels me towards the center of what I do not believe?
Lurk around the corner, dear stranger,
I will not hear the taunts until I am too late
We are all to late to understand what may draw us away...
away from a journey so grand and beautiful
Not behind these eyes,
the taunting voice does not cry from
But from the well spring of life
does the great travesty's voice arise
(do the dictations of the cosmos
come from our own two eyes?)
lust, power, greed
the cry for more compels me away
from that which I do not believe
away from the essence of all we can know
(beauty)
What more could I wish for
then what i believe?
What lies in front of these eyes...
the 'beauty'(deficient)
only cries for comfort and security
separation from what lies behind your eyes:
within the well spring of your life
if only I can become but a child again
even travel back beyond the womb,
to experience that which I do not believe
to feel again the source of this life
that can only belong to the one in whom I fail to perceive
(in whom I can only believe)
Do I bid farewell?
Shall I remain subject to the workings of the cosmos?
Destiny will, and will forever be yours and mine
This wellspring I offer up
{Restore us to yourself, O Lord, that we
may be restored;
renew our days as of old-
unless you have utterly rejected us,
and are angry with us beyond
measure}
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